Watch the Thinker



I know you guys have probably grown tired of me quoting Eckart Tolle but I cant stop because my life has improved so much from reading this book!
Tolle says something in his book about “watching the thinker” and its because most of us let our mind and thoughts take over and become so consumed in them we think we are our mind.
Ive got great news for you, you arent! Your mind is only one component that is you.  We have to watch our thoughts because they can breed so much negativity if we let it. For those of us that suffer from anxiety or depression, we know how one bad thought can send us into the abyss of worry and have us thinking about problems and issues that dont exist, what if’s, natural disaster scenarios, etc (having anxiety can get a little crazy sometimes).
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The trick is to separate yourself from your mind when that starts to happen and be more present in the moment. To “Watch the thinker”

“Watching the thinker is essentially a technique that allows you to maintain a very present state by stepping outside of your mind and watching all of its crazy fantasies and delusions.” – fredtracy 

I was trying to think of an analogy to explain it and the best I could think of was the glass half full and half empty scenario.
The cup half full or half empty reveals your tendency to judge a situation as positive or negative.  If you see a glass half empty, you would tend to put a negative spin on the situation indicating you are focusing on the part of the glass that’s empty. Pessimistic.
If you see a glass half full, you would tend to put a positive, hopeful spin on the same situation, focusing on how much water there is in the glass as a plus.  After all, at least its not empty.  You have that much water to enjoy.   There is a presence of gratitude and motivation. Optimistic.

While its obviously better to be optimistic. What both of these people fail to see is the bigger picture. The watcher understands that the glass is neither half full or half empty it just is. The watcher knows not to get hung up on such trivial things because even though the glass is resting at whatever level its at now. Its overall capacity is greater than half full or half empty.
The watcher understands that the cups function is to be filled and to be emptied and to be filled again because that is the life and nature of a cup. So they would never waste time thinking so much about a cup being a cup! Its whole purpose it to hold ANY amount of water up to its brim.
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Think about it… Like REALLY think about it…

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Jamaica Recap


Its not even the summer and Ive already knocked off one item on my Summer 2017 Bucket List! Jamaica was AMAZING!!! I had a blast, and I have been bit with a travel bug, Im planning on traveling a lot more this upcoming year.
Rowan- our Rastafarian host.

The View

We saw Dunn River Falls, ate Jerk chicken, got some day passes at the resorts, went snorkeling, hung with the locals. It was a vacation to remember for sure.


Yeh Mon!

Countdown to Barcelona June 2017!

What are some experiences you want to have this summer? 

 Id love to hear from you!

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Are you happy being unhappy?

You probably had to reread that title a couple of different times because who could possibly be happy being unhappy? To be honest it’s more common than you think. So many of us blame our unhappiness on our life circumstances. “I dont have enough money, I didnt have good parents, I didnt have support growing up. If my spouse or family or friends would only do this then I would be happy. Once I get my degree Ill be happy”
The only person that is in control of your happiness is you.
An article by Psychology Today states that people who are addicted to unhappiness tend to:

  • Find reasons to be miserable when life gets “too good.”
  • Prefer to play the victim role and blame others rather than take personal responsibility for their choices.
  • Compete with friends and colleagues to see who has it the hardest.
  • Have difficulty setting and achieving goals, or conversely achieve goals only to find that they can’t enjoy their success.
  • Struggle to bounce back when things don’t go their way.
  • Distract, escape or cope by using drugs, alcohol, sex, food, or other addictive or compulsive behaviors.
  • Stop taking care of their basic needs, such as a healthy diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep.
  • Feel enslaved to their emotions and powerless to change.
  • Feel dissatisfied even when life is going well.
  • Have dramatic, unfulfilling relationships.

Similarly, LonerWolf reports that:
People find it hard to let go of things that make them miserable because they also bring them some type of pleasure. It can come in many forms:

  • Sympathy: Our society and social etiquette encourages sympathy as a form of virtue. If you complain about being sick, about struggling with a personal problem, there’s always a sympathetic ear to listen and offer “you poor thing” and “awww”s that will make you feel special and indulge your egotistical need of acknowledgment and attention.
  • Desires and Expectations: This is attaching yourself to a misery now in order that your future desires will occur. For instance, you might have some ambition to achieve that is bringing you present miseries. So your expectations of the future are the things causing you problems in the present.  Things aren’t going the way you presumed they would.

I was inspired to write on this subject because I am reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and there is a section in the book entitled “All Problems are Illusions of the Mind” the book states that there are no problems, only situations to be dealt with now or to be left alone and accepted as part of the “isness” of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with. Problems are mind-made and they need time to survive.
A “problem” by most people’s standards is “an active relationship (a relationship that extends over a period of time) between a human being and a situation that triggers a negative emotion.
For example:
If you stub your toe and have an instant of pain, that’s not a problem. It’s an event.
It only becomes a problem when the pain lasts an extended period of time. Then you’ve probably broken your toe.
If you’re not in pain beyond that instant, then you don’t expend any effort to reducing the pain. You never look for a solution.


Im not saying complications and things dont arise but in the words of Eckart Tolle “challenges exist, but problems are mind-made. Challenges are something that can only be tackled in the present moment and require action.”
You’ll find that most unhappy people have a solution right in front of them but for whatever reason, they choose to obsess and worry about it instead (in comes the anxiety).
If you’re someone with a “problem” for every solution, you probably enjoy being unhappy.

You Are Not Your Mind.

In the English language, the brain and mind have almost become synonymous.

We are multilayered beings, we are so complex that even in all the years we have been on this earth we have yet to have a full understanding of ourselves and therefore we can never truly experience the world. The trick to living a fulfilled life is nurturing each layer of ourselves, the mind, body and the soul (consciousness). Merriam-Webster dictionary defines mind, body, and soul as:

Definition of mind

  1. 1:  recollection, memory keep that in mind time out of mind

  2. 2a :  the element or complex (see 1complex 1) of elements in an individual that feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and especially reasons.

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Definition of body

  1. 1a :  the main part of a plant or animal body especially as distinguished from limbs and head

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Definition of soul

  1. 1:  the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life

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An article by Loner Wolf states that “there’s a divine driving force guiding us all known as Spirit. Spirit uses the mind to create an identity (the “Self”) in order to aid our survival.
This “Self” (or ego) you possess, is composed of all the memories you have that you identify as belonging to “you,” e.g. your name, your nationality, your political/religious beliefs, your life ambitions, what you’ve grown to like and dislike, and all the personality characteristics that are the result of your environmental experiences or genetics.
Most people go through life believing that they are this story, believing that they are the thoughts they are thinking, instead of the essence that is experiencing those thoughts”.

The body, along with the mind (brain) will one day cease to exist (death). To attribute yourself solely to your mind is to say that when you die you lose yourself completely.  Some of us have become so obsessed with the ego that our mind becomes us because we can’t stop thinking. To put things into perspective:
” If our conscious experience of life was a cinema, most of us would be so absorbed in the movie that we would forget who was actually the person sitting in the chair watching that movie. It’s this subtle shift in awareness from being the movie to watching the movie that we can refer to as the Soul”.
A person who identifies with, and believes themselves to be their passing thoughts and emotions, will suffer in life much more than a person who has found the centered of their being, their Soul.


5 Steps To Keeping Your Lady Happy: Guest Post- Shawn Ransom

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Say what?? Could it be? Someone actually found a way to explain how to keep a woman happy? lol, yes…yes i did! This is for the men who just can’t seem to get anything right. Read closely, please.

Step 1: Shutup!
Just stop talking sometimes and listen. Your lady doesn’t always want you to argue or try to fix her problems, she actually just wants you to listen. Men tend to think that everything requires a response, while this is partially true, they listen with the sole purpose of responding but don’t actually listen to what is being said.

Step 2: Mean What You Say.
Do not just agree with her so that she will stop talking. Women aren’t dumb, they see right through those shallow responses. When you respond please please please think about it before you speak. Your responses are like seconds on a time bomb, each wrong/fake response takes seconds off of your lifeline leading to an inevitable explosion of wrath and destruction!! lol jk. but seriously, just be honest with your responses.

Step 3: Involve and Invest.
Involve your lady in things that you like or enjoy. Invest time with her. If you have a hobby, see if she likes it too. dont just leave her at home when you go out. Even if she says no and doesn’t want to go at least you invited her and that’s what really matters. Spending time with her is an investment to your future together. Sure she might embarrass you, but at least you’ll be together.

Step 4: Listen! Wait, didn’t you say this already?
Yup, I did! But clearly, it’s so important i had to say it twice. Listen when she speaks. Women hate to repeat themselves… for one, she shouldn’t have to repeat herself because you were supposed to be listening the first time. Listening means you care, if you don’t listen that essentially you are saying you don’t care, and if you don’t care then what’s the point?

Step 5: Energy.
Like electricity? No! Spiritual, mental and emotional energy or “vibe”. Show her than you can match her energy and vibe together. How do you do that? It’s simple, but a “bad word” in the minds of most fake men…it’s called CUDDLING. If you just lay there with her under your arm, on your chest or even if you are the one laying on her. Just the close non-sexual contact and conversation that women love. Its soothing and relaxing. Love is more than just physical. Because a physical love is called lust.

So the 5 steps to keeping your lady happy is to make her S.M.I.L.E.
Link to original post:


If you would like more pointers and tips on a healthy relationship feel free to contact me at:

IG, FB, Twitter: @ShawnJRansom & #HowShawnSeesIt

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21 Day Detox for Mindfulness

Lately, I have been really into holistic health and healing due to some stomach issues and my terrible non-existent appetite. From my reading, I came across something called mindfulness, and the mind-gut connection.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
“Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful”.

Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience. Some of the benefits from practicing mindfulness include:

  1. Stress reduction
  2. Helps you sleep better
  3. Facilitation of recovery
  4. Decreases depression

If you suffer from anxiety or depression or are lucky enough to have both like me, this 21-day detox is for you. You may be wondering how does a gut detox and being present in the moment (mindfulness) correlate…..

“Dr. Anthony Komaroff of Harvard Medical Schools explains that the answer is pretty simple: your brain and your gut are best buds. They’re in constant communication with each other, sending signals back and forth when your brain OR your stomach is distressed. Specifically, they’re connected through the Enteric Nervous System, or the ENS, which has over 100 million nerves running directly from your brain … to your stomach. So emotional distress can cause a distressed gut AND, strangely enough, a distressed gut can also cause emotional distress. It’s a two way street”.

Have you ever “gone with your gut”? or got “butterflies” in your stomach when you were nervous? That’s because of your enteric nervous system (ENS) aka your second brain, and its hidden within the walls of your digestive system. Are you constantly sick? tired? in a bad mood? or flat out have been told you have a condition? ( I have IBS) If yes, the culprit may be in your gut.
Signs you have an unhealthy gut: 

♥ (I suffer from this symptom)
  • Digestive issues (bloating, gas, diarrhea) ♥
  • Anxiety ♥
  • Depression ♥
  • Mood Swings/Irritability ♥
  • Skin problems
  • Food allergies/sensitivities
  • Diabetes
  • Frequent infections ♥
  • Autoimmune disease
  • Poor memory and poor concentration ♥

I have tried talk therapy, I have tried medication (which has made things better), but now I think its time to up the ante. I will be doing this detox through an elimination diet and practicing mindfulness with the hope of bringing my body back in balance.

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For 21 days I will be abstaining from: 

  • Processed foods (sugar, white flour, etc)
  • Foods containing preservatives
  • Artificial sugars
  • Saturated and Trans Fat
  • Red meat
  • Pork
  • Dairy
  • Television
  • Social media (outside of what necessary to promote my blog and business- so no leisure timeline scrolling or lurking)

I will be beginning the detox (today 4/4/17) and starting with a water flush. I will only be drinking water and detox tea for a complete 24 hours. Once that’s finished for 6 days I will not be eating any meat, just vegetables, and bone broth. For the remainder of the time, I will introduce chicken and fish back into my diet.
I have added television and social media to the list because I think they are huge distractions. You have to be VERY careful of the things you watch and listen too. Its so important to guard your spirit and since I anticipate some initial discomfort as my body fights off its addiction to sugar and whatever else its addicted too I want to stay away from anything that may upset me or unsettle my spirit.
For 21 days I will be: 

  • Reading
  • Praying
  • Meditating
  • Only drinking water and tea
  • Exercising
  • Yoga


After 21 Days Ill check back in with my progress.

 Id love to hear from you!

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25 Things Ive Learned By My 26th Birthday


And a recap of everything in between

I really cannot believe that in two days (April 2nd) I will be 26 years old! Seems so surreal! This year, like the others, was filled with some good, some bad, and some anxiety in between. Here are 25 things I learned that I will be carrying with me to 26.

  1. Mental health days are necessary: VERY necessary, things happen and because life never stops we dont take enough time that we need to really process things. That build up can really stress you out if you let it. I took about a week off while students were on spring break. It was so needed.
  2. Take deep breaths: I realized I dont breathe from my stomach. Taking in more air really helps with anxiety. giphy (27)
  3. Think about what you’re going to say before you say it: Something Ive been working on my entire life and it still rang true this year.
  4. Grief comes in waves, just accept whatever stage of grief you’re in at that time. This too shall pass: Some days Im fine over the death of my sister and brother, some days all I can do is cry and wonder why. I’ve learned to accept that I may not ever get over losing them and I’m okay with that now. Previously, I thought it was something with time you would get over but in reality, you NEVER stop feeling the loss. 
  5. Complaining solves nothing but makes everything worse: I have made many situations worse for myself by complaining about them. So much sometimes I turn myself off. I’m trying to work on not responding so negatively when things dont go my way. 
  6. Everybody is not going to like you despite how hard you try. And honestly….. giphy (11) 
  7. Keep the past and the people in it, in the past!: Lord, I should put this on my list twice. Tried to reconnect with an old friend and lets just say all hell broke loose. I will be leaving anybody I didn’t bring in 2017  in the back of me where they belong. Good ridden’s! 
  8. There is nothing wrong with needing and taking anxiety medication: Seriously, my anxiety was getting so bad. I thought I would feel…. I guess you could say weak? Because I couldn’t deal with my issues on my own.  When in reality I should have got on medication a long time ago. I think my doctor finally has me on the perfect dosage. Life has truly been so much better since Ive been on it.
  9. Other people’s lives are theirs to live: When I care about people I get so invested in them and want the very best. This leads to me becoming very frustrated and causing myself unnecessary stress over things that really have nothing to do with me. (Yes Im talking about my siblings and close friends, and yes yall better get yall asses in somebody school or trade program)

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10.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation: 
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11. Save as much and as often as you can. Have an emergency fund and then some. 
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12. Spend as much time with your loved ones as you can! Because young or old you never know when you’ll see that person and it’ll be for the last time.
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13.  Work Hard, Stay Humble. 
14.  Stay away from Toxic People
15. Dont ever stop reading or learning.
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16. Be yourself at all times. They either gone like it or not, either way it’s not your business. 
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17. Talk less, listen more: Something Im working on every day.
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18.  Life isn’t just about fun; it’s about forever. Live with heaven in mind.
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19. Spend time soaking in the goodness and love of the Lord: You wont feel the same, and you wont be the same. In a good way
20. Be selective of your friends. Choose people who will help you become a better. Anything else is dead weight.
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21.  You’re the only one responsible for taking care of your wants and needs: Your happiness is YOURS! Dont depend on other people. Always chase your own check.
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22. Discipline. Make your flesh obey your spirit. You can’t be happy the other way around.
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23.  You don’t need to raise your voice to be heard. Im still working on this.
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24. Stop making plans: Usually, they don’t work out, and then im stressed and anxious about it. Just go with the flow.
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25. Don’t compare yourself to those around you: Comparison kills, and besides if God wanted you to be like someone else he would have made you a clone and not your own individual person!
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Bonus* Forgive Yourself: Because what are you going to do? Shed your shell and climb in a new one every time you fuck up? As long as you learned from it and became a better person who cares? 

So here’s to 26!
May I laugh more, love more, and live more.

Notable Events in year 25

  • Turned 25 and had an awesome birthday party

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  • Went to AGP with my best friends and sorority


  • Went to Vegas with my boyfriend. Our first trip together
  • One year with my boyfriend
  • Started my blog


  • Started a hair company ( check it out!


  • Saved more money than I ever have ever

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  • Paid off a significant amount of debt
  • Graduated with my masters


  • Saw Beyonce in Concert – and whats better than Queen B?

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Im going to make 26 even more lit! Happy Birthday to me!!


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Artist to Watch: ASDR Music-"Strick"

Bringing Real Hip-Hop Back One Track at a Time.

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Health, Wealth, & Vibe

ASDR Music ” Strick” Photography: Lance Stegall CollaboNYC

Me: So how did you get started with music in general? I thought you were supposed to be in a classroom and you just popped up with a mixtape (laughs).

Strick: “Well I always wrote raps, not to rap them, but just as an outlet. Writing has always been an outlet for me”.

Me: So how did it go from a stress reliever to Health, Wealth, & Vibe?

Strick: “Everything was, and has been very organic throughout this process. I  graduated with a degree but could only find dead end jobs. Eventually, my sister convinced me to check out D.C and had me thinking about grad school. I took the first test to get in my program but never took the second one. I went back to Michigan just to end up in a plant working for $10.50. At that time it was about survival, not about chasing my dreams, and the shit was depressing”.

ASDR FB cover photo

ASDR Music “Tae & Strick” Photography: Lance Stegall CollaboNYC

“As far as the mixtape goes Tae had been sending me some beats and I wrote some lyrics to them. When I spit it for him he encouraged me to get in the studio and put it on the beat.  Even if we didn’t release it, we just wanted to see how it sounded. We went to a low key studio in Redford, paid $250 and dropped the whole tape in a 10-hour session. After we let people listen to it, it just took off from there.”

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“That nigga make the beats and I just be writing and shit”. -Strick

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Me: You said everything happened “organically” can you expand on that?

Strick: “How me and Tae linked up was organic with us both playing basketball. The tape being put together was organic, and how everything that popped off after was truly organic like ordained by God. We dropped the tape and then a couple days later Im fired. But it was crazy because if I hadn’t lost my job I would have been at work and missed a meeting with this guy named Jordan who put me on to some big time producers”.


ASDR Music ” Strick” Photography: Lance Stegall CollaboNYC

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Strick and Tae during a studio session.

Me: Wow. That’s crazy. Really goes to show everything truly does happen for a reason. How was it being fired and then 5 minutes later sitting in front of some of Detroit’s hottest producers?

Strick: “It was crazy, really crazy. When I came in there they thought they knew how my shit was gone sound before I even pressed play. Thinking I was one of these average sounding rapping niggas. I turned it on and they went crazy over it. Its been all love since then”.

Me: What have you been working on? What can your fans expect from you this summer?

Strick: “We just finished up shooting the videos to the singles we want to release off of the Health, Wealth, & Vibe mixtape so look out for those, and setting up performances. Definitely, expect to see ASDR Music on a stage near you sometime this summer. You don’t want to miss the wave”.

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ASDR Music “Tae & Strick” Photography: Lance Stegall CollaboNYC

ASDR Music surprised fans last night with a  bonus track released at 12 am entitled “Willow Run Tho” check it out below.

To connect with ASDR Music: 





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Words of Advice Series: Advice to my younger self.

I wanted to start an advice series because who else better to advise you than people who have went through the same situation themselves? I asked my Facebook friends if they could give some advice to their younger selves what would it be and these were the responses I got:
FB advice 1
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FB advice 2
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Seriously. Im a firm believer in this. Picking my split ends makes me happy =)
Fb advice 3
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Dont ignore the signs, the feeling, the vibe, etc. If you start feeling like something isnt right… its probably because its not. Trust yourself, and your intuition. ALWAYS
FB Advice 4
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Because self-love really is the best love.
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Because so many of us think happiness is a gift we get bestowed upon us on occasion instead of realizing that its something you have to work towards every day.
FB advice 6
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Seriously, because paying bills, making your own doctors appointments, and making yourself eat vegetables to stay “healthy” is no fucking fun AT ALL.
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Don’t get so caught up on acquiring “things” put that energy and money into creating new experiences for yourself. And if you make some mistakes on the way, you’re young plenty of time to right your wrongs. Just live.
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This one is spot on, didn’t seem like it at the time, and of course she wasn’t right about everything but she sure knew more than I gave her credit for. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache just listening to your mother!
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One of my biggest mistakes. If only I had taken advantage of all the free money I was given as a child. Smh
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FB advice 10
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Because sometimes being an adult is lit.
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Be sure to stop and smell the roses. Dont be in a rush to go nowhere!
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More “mother knows best” advice. Its so important to listen and take heed to the things older and wiser people tell us. It just may stop you from doing something you regret….
Fb advice 13
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If I could go back I would totally go to a community college first. If I had I probably wouldn’t be $85,000 knee-deep in student loan debt.
Soul ties are very real, dont let the world talk you into having casual sex because you put your entire spirit and wellbeing at risk.
FB advice 14
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My type A personality is cringing at the thought but the fact of the matter is sometimes things wont work out and most times its because God has something better in store for you.
FB advice 15
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Artist to Watch: Emmitt James

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Photo Credit: Katie Boeckman 

So Im on Youtube makeup academy minding my own business, intensely watching this YouTuber beat her face. Then this song starts playing and it gave me such a vibe I had to write her and ask her what the name of the song was!
It was called Aurora by Emmitt James. I downloaded Soundcloud just to listen to his music. Upon a thorough investigation on social media (stalking) I was able to get him to agree to an interview with me! Check out Aurora below:

Name: Emmitt James

Age: 24

Location: Cali

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Photo Credit: @erinsaycheeze

Me: How did your career start off? 
Emmitt: 24 years ago I was born- just kidding. For me, everything starts with poetry. Back in high school, I had a crush on this big eyed Puerto Rican girl named Tamara and I would write poems about her.  But I was never good enough to be her boyfriend. I performed Broke not Broken Hip Hop my first mixtape at the Brave New Voices competition my junior year and that changed things for me. Back then music and writing was just a hobby it wasn’t until I got to college that I figured out this was what I wanted to do for a living.
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Me: Whats your music process like? Finding beats, writing songs, etc. 
Emmitt:  I’ll hear a beat and then start to create with it.I’ll start with a verse then hook, then sit on it. I write everything in my head because its more natural to me. When I try to physically write its weird. Because of spoken word my music is conceptual I wrote Hunger Pains when I first got here (Cali). Its like a metaphor to relationships and how when you eat certain things there are memories attached to it. I currently work at a coffee shop and Im a certified (Bae)rista (laugh). I wrote Almond Chi Latte which is coffee terminology inspired by my real life. I don’t talk about bitches and hoes mainly because I don’t have any (laugh). I talk about women and relationships because that’s my life.
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Photo Credit: Katie Boeckman 

Me: Who are some of your music influences? 
Emmitt: Jay-Z, Kanye, my favorite artist is Marvin Gaye and I sample from Toro Y Moi frequently.
Me: Talk about the importance of networking and making connections. 
Emmitt: It’s very important. In Cali its all about who you know. But I like it when its genuine, I like to actually have a relationship with people as opposed to just thinking about what they can do for me. So that may hold me back but that’s just me.
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Photo Credit: @brittabibbo

Me: What do you like the most or least about being an artist? 
Emmitt: The most? Freedom, to do and put out what I want. Also the ability to try new things. Sometimes when you go commercial your work can become stagnant because people can put you into a box. I also like speaking to my fan base directly, I love the intimacy of it.
The least? Lack of funds. Everything I do is out of pocket. If you don’t have much money you have to do smaller versions of your vision. Not having sponsors is also something I don’t like.
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Photo Credit: Katie Boeckman 

Me: What are some of the mistakes you’ve made pursuing your career? 
Emmitt: Pushing my music on people. There are some people that are happy to help promote like my friends and family but I want it to be organic now. Its not a problem talking to your family and friends about your music but when it happens organically (they listen and support on their own) you get more stay power.
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Photo Credit: @freelancer_life

Me: What are some of your favorite tracks of your music? 

Me: If you only had one shot to get someone to listen to your music to gain a fan what song would you want them to listen to? 
Emmitt: I would have to say Aurora or If your Orange Juice is Yellow its Not Real.

Be sure to check out Emmitts music! 

Keep up with Emmitt James music on his website, 

Apple Music, Itunes, Spotify  , and Soundcloud 

Connect with him via social media: 




Upcoming performances:

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