Dysfunctional Part 5: What love isn’t

What love isn’t

Part 2 of 2

“What are you going to do? Are you going to live in the dark, locked in here? Afraid to look out, answer the door, leave? Yes, he’s out there, and he’s clearly not going to leave you alone until one of three things happens: he hurts you and gets arrested, or he makes a mistake and gets arrested, or you stop him.”
― Rachel CaineFall of Night

Joseph went to jail for two weeks over this ticket that he had. I used some of the time to go hang out at my dads since it had been forever since I lasted visited. I had my own friends, a boyfriend, I thought I was grown. The same day he got released I came home from my dad’s house and we were at his house alone.

“So how was jail? Did you drop the soap?” I asked him laughing.

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Dysfunctional Part 5: What love isn’t

What love isn’t

Part 1 of 2

“Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been.”
― Lundy BancroftWhy Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

We met at a college fair at Eastern Michigan University. Up until that point, I was not interested in any of the guys that were at my school. I’m not sure what it is about him that attracted him to me or me to him. But nevertheless, I probably chose the worst person ever to take my virginity. Our relationship was great at first, but it gradually turned sour. I feel like after he took my virginity he became beyond controlling. Since I had no healthy relationship to base his actions off of at the time I thought it was completely normal. I was looking for love, I wasn’t getting it at home and I was determined to find it for myself. What I found was something entirely different.

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Dysfunctional Part 3: Daddy Issues

 Daddy Issues

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I spent most school breaks and summers on the Northend with my dad. Whenever you wanted something from my dad, you needed to put your request in at least three months in advance, because he moved when he wanted to. I used to always joke that you could be dying and he’d still take you to the hospital when he felt like it, and not a minute before.

Me:

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Source: Giphy

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Dysfunctional Part 2: Black Moms Be Like

 Black Moms be Like

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In my house, you didn’t get away with anything. You’d think you were being slick, but my mom had this radar, and I don’t know how, but she just knew when we were up to no good. If you thought you were getting away scot-free, you weren’t. She was really keeping a “whoop-that-ass” tab, and would wait until she reached her breaking point with you to act on it. When that time came, you knew it was over. And you’d know why you were receiving every hit.

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