Dating Someone with Kids. Yay or Nay?

For me, personally, Id have to say,

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Absolutely not! 

My ex literally had the worst possible baby mama that you could ever have. Just for education purposes lets review the different types of baby mamas one could have. (Baby fathers are not exempt from this, but I cant comment on how a baby daddy can behave).

Baby Mama Level 1: “Accidental Baby Mama” 

May have been your girlfriend when she got pregnant. May still be your girlfriend now, got pregnant by “accident” but kept it due to moral reasons or due to the relationship. He hasnt made her a wife just yet so she’s sitting in limbo. At this level, the female either eventually marries her babies daddy and upgrades to a wife or stays in forever baby mama land.

Baby Mama Level 2: “Child Support Check Baby Mama” 

This baby mama has been plotting on you. She see’s how you treat your girlfriend and or wife. She see’s you out here shining and she’s just trying to be down by any means necessary. THESE ARE THE WOMEN THAT TRAP MEN. These are the women that use their kids as a 9 to 5 because they only conceived them for the purpose of being able to put the man on a leash, or be taken care of financially. (As most BM’s in this category soon find out this blows up in their face most of the time -unless you land an NBA baller).

Baby Mama Level 3: “Needs an IUD Baby Mama”

These are babies born from a fast and loose woman. All for a nice time, “easy”, usually doesn’t care if the man uses protection or not. Uses plan B, abortions, and everything else BUT birth control. More than likely has multiple kids with multiple fathers. She could be a hoe or could be someone who cant live without being with someone- no matter the costs. For these types of people, low self-esteem is common and they operate under the “being with someone, ANYONE, is better than being alone” philosophy. So they’ll keep having babies hoping the next man and the next man will stay.

So now that we had that brief baby mama lesson. She was for sure a mix of baby mama levels two and three. Completely delusional, and to top it off, illiterate. Im not even just hating like real life illiterate. The type of female that makes you look at your mate and question how could they possibly be with you if he was attracted to somebody like that.

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She did not respect our relationship and literally used to hold her son hostage. “If you’re with her you cant see your son.” “You dont want to be a family so you cant see your son.”

Then she would want to argue on social media.

Her: “Thats why I have his son, his FIRST son, his FIRST child.”



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and thats why I actually have him.

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Because any female with ovaries can do that. Whats your point? You got the son and I got the whole man, with the sperm included to make more kids.


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At some point, I figured I should just remove myself from the equation. Because it got to the point where she was forcing him to choose between being with me or spending time with his son. It started to become a competition between us. What she could get him to do as a baby mama vs what he would do for me as the girlfriend.

I started wanting him to neglect his child just to prove a point to her and thats when I knew I needed to just remove myself from the equation.

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And Im glad I did because now he’s in prison.

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So she gets to be a single mom.

And guess who got to walk away with no loose ends?

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Bet you wish you didnt have that baby now!

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But now Im scarred for life and have no interest in dating someone with a kid. To be specific this is EXACTLY why I dont want to date someone with kids.

  1. I want to experience being a new parent together
  2. I think that kids suffer in blended families. No matter how hard you try to make things work someone gets the short end of the stick.
  3. Their kid comes first, always. Not you.
  4. Dealing with a bitter baby mama
  5. You’re always expected to be the bigger person when the baby mama is childish.
  6. Walking on egg shells with the baby mama for fear she will not let your boyfriend see his child.
  7. Having to deal with the baby mother wanting to do things as a “family”
  8. Having to deal with the baby mama needing a little extra “help” on bills. And him giving it to her because at the end of the day its “for his child”
  9. Having to deal with the mother turning the child against you.

So Its going to be a “no” for me and any guy who already has kids. Would you date someone with kids? Have you dated someone with kids? Are you currently with someone with kids? Or are YOU the crazy baby mama if you already have kids?


Id love to hear from you!

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Cherise is an entitled millennial whose parents told her from birth she would be great. This drive to be great has caused her to excel academically receiving two degrees at the age of 25 and $85,000 of debt. She still has no (insert cuss word) clue on what to do with her expensive degrees or her life in general. You can typically catch her dodging calls from Sallie Mae, sleeping, or updating this blog. To read more about Cherise and her experiences navigating the scary world of adulting click one of the links on this blog.

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