We were getting closer and closer to the day of our wedding and apparently, my finance had more surprises up his sleeve. Dre and I were in a good place but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it was bothering me he was okay with me getting married. I don’t know what I was expecting some sort of grand gesture maybe?
Girl you are TRIPPING! Cut ties now before he destroys everything.
Its been working out so far what’s the problem? Its not your fault it takes two men to be a whole man these days.
As reluctantly as I wanted too, for once I had to agree with the angel. I had full intentions on cutting ties with him once I was officially married. But there was this tiny small nagging part of me that was not ready to let this fling go!
Nevertheless, my amazing, loving, fiance, who by the day was making it more apparent I didn’t deserve him, told me to get dressed up for drinks. When I started cheating I did because I felt like James didn’t care. That he didn’t care about my feelings or my needs and now that Im cheating he wants to be perfect.
I was officially a thot I knew it. I had to nip whatever me and Dre had going on now.
“Rhea, you about ready babe?” James yelled from the living room. “Just lock the door and meet me outside.”
I shot Dre a quick text and went outside.
“Surprise baby,” James said smiling. He had rented us a party bus and when I got on all of our close friends were on and ready to turn up.
“Thank you so much baby” I smiled kissing him.
“Awwwh cut that out na yall got the rest of yall lives to do that after next week!” Rasheed said handing both of us a shot. “Turn TF up!!.”
We went IN. Im talking:
Then I get a text from Dre.
His response should have been scary but it put me in that 50 shades of Grey mind frame and turned me on something serious.
“Girl get off this phone and take another shot!” Rasheed said snatching my phone and replacing it with a shot glass.
That last shot put me on my ass. I was gone, we stumbled in a club and danced the night away. As the night progressed I started looking for my phone.
“Rasheed,” I yelled in his ear over the music. “Where’s my phone?”
He was dancing with some guy “I gave it to James” he replied in between twerks.
“Fuck!” I thought to myself. I stumbled around the club trying to find him. I checked the bar, the dance floor, and even the mens restroom but he was nowhere to be found. I walked outside a few feet from the building and I saw him. Leaning up against a wall, with my phone in his hand. I didnt want to seem suspicious so I just casually, “hey baby.”
“So how long have you been fucking this nigga?” he asked
“What,” I responded.
“Rhea, don’t play stupid how long have you been fucking me and this nigga? last time Im going to ask you” he said seriously.
“Just a couple of months baby Im sorry,” I said running up to him. ” I was just so unhappy at home but I ended it, Im sorry please,” I begged trying to stop him from walking away.
“Rhea get the fuck off me. Us being short on some cash caused you to go open your legs to another man? And then come home to me? Ive spent every moment since the day you found out about me gambling trying to fix this shit and now you’re telling me you been fucking somebody else? And we’re about to get married?” he asked.
I could hear the hurt in his voice, I didn’t have anything to say. Nothing I could say could justify my disloyalty.
“Im sorry,” I said
“I just need to be alone right now, please don’t follow me,” he said tossing my phone back at me and walking away.
A part of me wanted to follow, but another part of me felt relieved. I felt so relieved and I didn’t know why. My world was crashing down around me, burning in fact, I was in tears but I felt so relieved it confused me. Maybe this was for the best I thought to myself. Maybe James and I weren’t meant to be. Maybe I met Dre for a reason.
Girl you really need Jesus. He’s the only one that can stop you from the path you’re on. The least you can do is stop lying to yourself.
I laughed out loud, “you’re right,” I said to the angel.
“The truth is Im selfish and his gambling was just an excuse for me to go out and do what I wanted to do anyway. I just got caught”, saying it aloud was like a revelation.
I had grown addicted to the rush of cheating, the feeling I would get coming home to James after being out with Dre and he was none the wiser. Or fucking Dre during work and walking into meetings like it never happened. They say the first step is always admitting you have a problem, and I do.
But an addiction wouldn’t be an addiction if it wasn’t hard to get rid of…..
To be continued…..
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