The Questionable Life and Times of Rii: Part 7: Relationship Woes

relationship-problems

Part 7: Relationship Woes 

James had been back at work for about two weeks. Things were finally starting to look up, we had a two income household again, and most importantly I was able to have my cake and eat it too. I could spend my days with my loving fiance that cooked and worshiped the ground I walked on and I could spend my nights with my co-worker lover? side dude? I don’t even know what I would classify this as since we both were in whole ass relationships with other people. I don’t think I wanted to since we were just two friends who hung out on occasion.

Deandre and I linked up after work whenever possible, it was like we could pick each other’s brains all day and never run out of things to talk about. I found my intellectual equal, I started feeling like I played myself agreeing to marry James so fast without even seeing what else the world had to offer. But I pushed this thought out of my head. Up until this point, Deandre and I hadn’t moved past conversations and kissing so in my mind that was like level 1 cheating no big deal right?

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Today was a Netflix and chill day for me and James. We had spent the entire day cuddled up in bed watching movies.

“I haven’t checked the mail in a while have you,” I asked once our movie ended.

“Naw It honestly slipped my mind” he replied.

“I’m going to go check” I said hopping up.

I hated checking the mail, we got most of our bills electronically so if we had mail it was either junk mail or bad news mail (aka unexpected bills). I checked the mailbox and plopped back in the bed. James started rubbing my feet as I went through the mail.

“Junk” I said tossing an envelope to the side.

“Junk” I said tossing another, “Ooooh I wonder how much interest we made” I said flashing an envelope that said monthly statement from our bank.

When James asked me to marry him we set up a joint savings account to put up money for a wedding. Even though he hadn’t been working I still put about $50 to $100 from each check into the account. I opened the statement.

mock-bank-statement

My heart dropped when I saw the balance. “Wtf did someone hack our account”? I said aloud until I got down to the multiple ATM withdrawals.

“James! have you been taking money out of our account?” I asked furiously.  I know I hadn’t taken any money out only added to it. He dropped his head a little still rubbing my feet.

“I took out a little when I wasn’t working nothing major”, he replied nonchalantly.

“Nothing major?!” I yelled back “try $417 damn dollars and since I’ve been paying the bills where the fuck has this money gone, ” I said practically screaming at him.

“Calm down Rhea I’ll put all the money back” he replied still rubbing my feet.

“No, I wanna know what you spent this money on! Wheres the gift you said you’ve been paying off? Is that what you spent this money on?” I asked. He got quiet. The discrepancy I noticed on my account a couple of weeks ago was starting to make sense. I had only just noticed but small amounts of money were coming out of the account for the past two months. I didnt even want to add up the total amount he took out because I knew I would snap.

“HELLO!!! Speak the fuck up” I yelled, at this point about to loose it. It’s like no matter how hard I worked I was always getting set back. To be set back by the person you’re supposed to be building with makes no sense at all.

“HELLO earth to James, where the FUCK is our money” I screamed.

“I lost some money on some bets ok! my bad. I’m a grown ass man I shouldn’t have to ask you when I want to take money out of an account I put money in” he yelled back.

“So you’re telling me that while you were not working and I’m slaving to pay bills you once again make an irresponsible financial decision putting our stability at risk to gamble!! There are multiple ATM withdrawals so at what point were you going to cut your losses and stop!?” I screamed back. “After the account was empty?”I asked perplexed.

“Look I was trying to get the money back before you noticed, I won some, took some losses but I’m back working now we’re good,” he said.

“No we’re not good I really can’t believe that you would do this, so you were lying when you said you were saving up to get me something weren’t you?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” he said low under his breath “I needed to buy more time to put the money back. But I’m back working now and I promise imma fix this baby” he said grabbing my feet again.

“Stop trying to rub my fucking feet,” I said snatching them away. I am really so disgusted with you. A man takes care of his household not constantly put them in bad situations. I can’t even look at you right now” I said getting out of the bed.I’m about to go I need some air” I said putting on my stuff to leave.

“Rhea lets talk about this,” James said.

“Its nothing to say, you’ve been lying to me for weeks now. I’m making all these sacrifices for our wedding and you just threw it down the drain.” I said walking out of the room. I was so very annoyed. I prided myself on being a financially responsible person and it seemed like as of lately James had been terrible with money. I went and sat in my car I didn’t even have anywhere to go. It was late so I knew Tanisha would be at the club, and Rasheed would be at work since he was on the night shift.

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After I sat in the car for a good 5 minutes just staring into space I thought “I really need more than two friends,”.  Like clockwork, a notification went off on my phone. It was from Deandre. Our conversation went like this:

come-over-1

I was becoming such the liar these days – I was still sitting in my complex parking lot.

come-over-2

 

I wasn’t planning on contacting him because we normally never texted this late (respecting boundaries and all). I figured at this time of night he would be somewhere cuddled up with his girl but I guess not. I put his address in my GPS and got on the road.

 

To be continued….  

Discussion Questions:

  1. How important are finances in your relationship?
  2. Can you be with someone who may treat you amazing but drops the ball on real responsibilities (ex. paying bills)?

Id love to hear from you!

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With love,
Cherise

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LifeRiiImagined

Cherise is an entitled millennial whose parents told her from birth she would be great. This drive to be great has caused her to excel academically receiving two degrees at the age of 25 and $85,000 of debt. She still has no (insert cuss word) clue on what to do with her expensive degrees or her life in general. You can typically catch her dodging calls from Sallie Mae, sleeping, or updating this blog. To read more about Cherise and her experiences navigating the scary world of adulting click one of the links on this blog.

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